header for the main page
 
 
 Web  SoCoolAZ.com 
Scientific 'Missing Link' Found; Bush Family Celebrate in Texas
Rate This Article:
-1
Side by side comparison shows George W Bush with his great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother Ida

Guests began to arrive at the non-descript million dollar Dallas mansion of George W Bush just hours after news broke that scientists had discovered the 'missing link' between man and monkey.

"We are all excited to hear that my husband George has finally been able to complete his side of the family's geneology," exuded a smiling Laura Bush.  "I was just teasing Jenna on how all the years of calling her 'my little monchici' now have justification...She really is part monkey!"

National Geographic recently reported that the skeletal remains of Ida, a half-man, half-lemur that had spent the last 20 years on an Italian millionaire's wall is discovered to be what scientists have long described as the 'missing-link' between humans and monkeys, evolutionarily speaking.

"I stand corrected," pronounced a blushing George W Bush, "Dick Cheney just called me up and told me he moved his copy of the King James Bible from the bathroom magazine rack to next to his Dan Brown novels.  I'll be a monkey's uncle...!  Creationism and Christianity have now been debunked by science...!  Just like the economy, I never saw that comin'."

National Geographic say that the discovery of Ida proves that Darwinism, a long-time scientific theory dismissed as 'hocus-pocus' by hard-line conservatives and the Christian right is indeed validated.

A spokesman for National Geographic who wished to remain anonymous stated, "The scientific community has always known that the belief in 'creation' by a magic Wizard of Oz type character within a 7-day time-line was troublesome, scientifically speaking," but added, "Stupid people need something stupid to believe in."

"Tonight we're gonna party likes its 3,002,009 BC," stated Bush who was earlier seen eating ants out of an anthill with a stick.  "What do I have to say to all those Christians that voted for me?  Well hey, science proved us wrong, what can I say?  But I stand by the fact that I always have been answerin' to a higher power.  I just never figured it was Clyde from Every Which Way but Loose.  Heh-heh...!"

Related Articles
Post A Comment
* Indicates required information
Comment Title:
* Comments:
Nickname:
* Validation:
Comments 4 comments for this article
Page:   <<  <   1   >  >>
Added: July 25, 2009. 03:00 PM PST
Funny
LOL people actually believe your articles?? unless there was no evolution people would still believe this BS ;)
Anonymous
Added: June 18, 2009. 08:43 AM PST
Making fun of a man on his 85th birthday. I would like to see you jump out of an airplane at that age.
Anonymous
Added: May 27, 2009. 11:21 AM PST
Bush remains a one-off from an evolutionary perspective. Chances are the 'Bush' branch will turn out not to be related to mankind at all. As the DNA held by this very awkward branch is so different from homo-sapiens, homo sapiens eventually will exterminate these weak links to not hinder futher evolution.
Maarten
Added: May 20, 2009. 04:04 PM PST
you know not what you preach
this is nothing to joke about. it's something we've foreseen for decades previous and what we've feared most.

now god is truly dead. nietzsche came and went and now ida is here to stay. the bush family is celebrating a heathen rebellion, but it shall be nothing more than a rebellion. a new greater force shall now emerge, mostly walking upright, and he will take this world by force.

revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations, revelations.
Anonymous
Page:   <<  <   1   >  >>
Google