"Chop me out a good one Mr Vice President...I like my first line to punch me in the face!"  exclaimed James Crowley, the Cambridge Police Sargent who has been at the center of a heated race debate since the arrest of Henry Louis Gates, Jr. in his own home just two weeks ago.

In an adjascent white house office, President Barack Obama passes Professor Gates a smoking crack pipe as he exhales smoke that might resemble the exhaust from one of the trade-in cars from his failed Cash For Clunkers program.

"Where is that jive ass cop Mr President?" asked a tense Gates before taking his turn on the glass dick.  "He's probably at the dry cleaners pickin' up his hood and robes...we're going to go kick it with that cracker-ass in the East Garden," assured Obama while offering a bic lighter, "should be a good PR move to show that this country is color blind."

These alleged conversations took place moments before the press corps were allowed to photograph this semi-private meeting between two figures that have polarized the race issue in this country today:  Sargent Crowley, who arrested Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr for disorderly conduct in the Professors own house had requested the meeting of President Obama.  All parties came together, but alleged racial tension before the meeting limited its time allotment to one hour.

"We're just three guys having a beer at the end of a work day," was the excuse Obama gave for the meeting, downplaying that it was a summit of any kind.  "We're here to prove that racial harmony exists in America."

"What we are witness to is an actual division between African-American and white men, evidenced by the President and Gates drinking of Olde English 800 and the Vice and Crowley's choice of Budweiser.  It has also been reported that after the press were ushered from the East Garden, the President lit up a Kool cigarette but had a white house staffer bring Crowley a Marlboro red." states sociologist Brian Pongeo, history scholar and race expert.

"The racial divide in this country can be tracked back century's of black and white division in vices.  White's like powder cocaine, blacks like to smoke crack.  Malt liquor for the brothers...regular brewed hops for the men." continued Pongeo.

If the allegations of drug and tobacco abuse are confirmed, the summit may do more harm than good for US race relations, despite having our first black President.