This war is starting to take its toll on me.  Things started last month, around the 20th of March, when Bush gave his 48 hour ultimatum.  This was the day that I moved a couch into my smallest bedroom to watch TV, the only spot in my house that I could tap into my neighbors cable box.  Obviously, my cable had been turned off to facilitate my current 'low cash' situation.  Things started to get bad when the Discovery Channel was dropped from my remote control's favorite button.  I was more and more waiting for the 'Shock and Awe' that was promised by the President and his counsel.  I hadn't even flipped to watch MTV's Sorority Girls, one of the most introspective reality TV shows ever created or so I'm told.

 I started to worry myself when I stopped tuning in to the porn.  This didn't mean that I had stopped masturbating, it simply meant that I was masturbating during the news stories.  Nothing sick, like not when Lester Holt was on...at first just during video footage of patriot missile launches and tank advancements.

 All of that came to a crashing halt this morning.  I turned on the tube before the shower.  Chris Jansing was interrupting with some breaking news of the death of Chemical Ali...or maybe Saddam and his sons.  I don't remember, but I do remember that blue dress that Chris had chosen that morning.  A little more crass than her normal conservative wear...this outfit was screaming, "I am a talking head...wonder what I'm wearing down there?!?"

 I won't get in to the graphic detail of the actual jack, but I will say that I have fallen in love with Chris Jansing.  She is the most amazing reporter ever acquired by a network news station.  She comes from relative obscurity...only starting to appear in Breaking News clips around the time of the Sniper, she has now thoroughly cornered the Breaking News segment.  I wait for her through-out the morning.  Could I be so lucky to see a Real Media clip displayed on her web-site, www.msnbc.com?  

 Chris Jansing.  I know you are Canadian, but I love you.  Will you please transform from the picture tube in my small, spare bedroom to a flesh and blood goddess who would pick me up for dinner this Friday night?  Could you buy, because my career is in a slump and I am currently unemployed?  I will await your answer...maybe you'll incorporate it into a Breaking News clip, you flirt.  I'll be watching.