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Published 12/31/2009 - 10:40 p.m. PST

Feldman, wife with dumbass
The Two Coreys: Two dipshits and a dunce

UPDATE: ZIT HAIM DEAD OF OVERDOSE

JUNE 29, 2008

As I finished watching back-to-back episodes of A&E's The Two Corey's it struck me...Corey Feldman bugs me.  Not that Corey Haim is too endearing, but Feldman is relatively good looking, has a hot as balls wife, a pimp-ass house and a life that looks like it is relatively simple.  What an asshole.


Rating: 31
Published 10/13/2009 - 2:32 p.m. PST

Take it up the ass - Gere hospitalized again
Take it up the ass - Gere hospitalized again

Richard Gere checked into Cedar Sinai hospital over the weekend to have a child's toy removed from his anus.  Reports indicate a 'Zhu Zhu Pet' being stuck up his rectum.  No stranger to the ER Gere had a similar instance a decade ago when he was treated in a nearby Los Angeles ER having 'a live gerbil' stuck up crawling in his poop-shoot. 

 
Published 09/25/2009 - 1:31 p.m. PST

MacKenzie Phillips vs Bijou Phillips
MacKenzie vs Bijou - Which daughter would you choose to rape? Tell us in the comments section.

I'm not condoning incest, but Papa John Phillips picked the wrong daughter to rape. I'm going to take some flack for that statement and it is important to point out again:  I am not condoning incest, but wow - John Phillips really made the wrong choice in the 10-year consensual relationship with daughter MacKenzie - She is a dog!  Bijou is certainly the 'hot' one in this family of hippies.

 
Published 09/15/2009 - 4:03 p.m. PST

Paloma's back!  And showingoff  her back-sided brand of advice
Paloma's back with her unique back-sided advice
advice...Paloma,
How important is foreplay? Do you enjoy lots of it?
How much is too much? Can sex be too long for a woman? Anonymous

Interesting that someone has posted these questions.....Almost identical to a debate with an Ex of mine....so for all you men who dont know how to satisfy your woman...Here you go:  Foreplay is by far the most important part of sex...!!!

 
Published 09/01/2009 - 7:09 p.m. PST

Federer and Ivanovic at Billie Jean King Stadium 2009
Federer dishes a serve while Jankovic shows us her panties

Oy, a rough year for ye ole reporter who has been punjabi the drame of my cousin Bernard and his unlegal ponzi scheme.  My main patron for travel has ended up 150 year einsezn.  I cannot even use the Miami beach-front condo as my schtub.  It's fercockt and a shanda fur die goy, Bernie!  On to the US Open 2009, which I am gliklikh to attend:

Published 08/09/2009 - 9:00 a.m. PST

Billy Mays Mexican Cartel
Mays was on to his greatest pitch yet: drug cartel dominance

Results from an autopsy performed on television Pitchman Billy Mays have stoked rumors of a secret life of crime, it now being widely alleged that Mays was Capas to Los Zetas, a violent Mexican drug cartel responsible for smuggling millions of dollars in un-cut cocaine across the Arizona border concealed in pallets of Oxi Clean.

Two days before Mays death on June 28th, Mexican authorities uncovered a macabre hotel scene in Caborca; eleven dead, the only survivor a low-level goon related to rival Sinaloa cartel, his genitalia adhered to his belly with a dollop of Might Putty and a hole drilled through each of his feet, likely perpetrated by the Awesome Auger found bloodied at the scene.  Almost in a trance, he rocked back and forth repeating, "Por favor, Senor, ten piedad de Billy ... Sr. Billy, por favor dejar de gritar!"


Rating: 35
 
Published 07/30/2009 - 11:36 p.m. PST

Allegations of cocaine, malt liquor and tobacco mar a casual meeting between racial rivals at the White House
Allegations of drug use, malt liquor and tobacco marr the casual meeting between racial rivals

"Chop me out a good one Mr Vice President...I like my first line to punch me in the face!"  exclaimed James Crowley, the Cambridge Police Sargent who has been at the center of a heated race debate since the arrest of Henry Louis Gates, Jr. in his own home just two weeks ago. In an adjascent white house office, President Barack Obama passes Professor Gates a smoking crack pipe as he exhales smoke that might resemble the exhaust from one of the trade-in cars from his failed Cash For Clunkers program.  "Where is that jive ass cop Mr President?" asked a tense Gates before taking his turn on the glass dick.

 
 
Published 07/14/2009 - 9:42 p.m. PST

Sotomayor_Thomas_Hill
Nigga Please...! Rare interview with Clarence Thomas

SoCoolAZ.Com has obtain exclusive rights to this mock interview with Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in regards to the appointment of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court.

"I've heard that Sonia likes to fuck," opens Justice Thomas who is wearing khaki pants and a button down polo this Sunday afternoon in Missouri, "I've certainly contemplated what that wild wet-back bush might look like garnishing my Diet Coke."

 
Published 06/27/2009 - 9:49 a.m. PST

Ed_McMahon_Dangerous
Ed McMahon, King of Pop ular TV Show Tonight Show has died

Ed McMahon, the King of Pop ular Late Night Television show Tonight Show with Johnny Carson has died at his Santa Barbara home.  The home, nicknamed Neverland Ranch by the countless child visitors that Ed had stay with him was a virtual playground for the pre-pubescent boys, having a full carnival ride amusement park, a twenty-one horse stable where the kids could frolic with horses before coming to the main ranch to play hide and seek with Ed dressed as a clown.  The boys could look forward to cookies, Nick at Night and Ed's big bed to complete the sleepover.

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